Interests:queer psychedelics, first loves, smell of new notebooks, intellectuals, books, daisies, fast palpitations, curling up, tree swings, dizzyness, neon lights, feelings of numbness and the skinny♥ Occupation:lover/baker/protagonist
There's this inexplicable, unexplainable feeling deep down within the depths of my heart. Why do we all get along, only to fall out over some other issues that makes us go back to square one? It only means that the foundation isn't built on strong ground. Which, really, just makes us go back to square one, yet again.
So last night, i was watching the Victoria Secrets Fashion Show 2009 and wondering if all girls are like that, so sucked into fashion and self-proclaiming that "oh i'm so in love with all these clothes" after watching only a fashion runway show, whose brand/designer they don't know of. All these entertainment to help elevate them to being a fashion-conscious person. Really? Because all the girls i meet these days are so self-consumed by all these needs and wants, whatever happened to the glorious goodness of just being a humble self? Right, there's nothing to complain because everything is just the way it seems. And it's just the natural progression, right? I'm trying to convince myself that there is hope, yet, in this new age.
Why, oh, why.
Anyway, i've to pick up a cake today for my dad's birthday. My treat since i've got my pay already, haha. Should probably pick up a good one though, so i can fork through the contents of leftover birthday cake
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If all else fails, just eat cake, my friends. And all else will seem fine.
Annual spazzing day was yesterday with chinhwee, my fellow bfff (best fag friends forever, don't ask me what that means hahaha). Last year was Carls jr, and this year was Island Creamery. First stop was island, where we both found our happiness from burnt caramel/teh tarik/apple pie/blackforest ice cream. Hahaha yes we tried like 4 flavours, which is really lovely hahaha. Then zoomed down to town and started to walk all over and spazzed again, hahaha. Making up stuff like Indieland, which is like Zombieland and then getting free coke zero which really taste like diluted coke so i'm never going to try it again. Coke light/original coke please.
Well hello, i've been doing a couple of private entries for a while now, so today shall welcome a public entry!
Starry eyed and awake at such strange hours during the night. Sighs of strange annoyance at some stuffs, wondering why this world is so unfair sometimes. Har har. Don't laugh, i bet each and everyone of you do that sometimes, just to find a outlet for all your "pathetic existence" on our beloved Mother Earth. Anyway, today i got an environmentally-friendly bag from Forever21, which comes in a shade of sunshine yellow with big bold black prints of "Forever21" stamped on it. So loud and garish, my gosh.
Anyway! Everyone's leaving for some kind of a holiday suddenly. My life feels like it has so many holes been punctured through them. The best friend is leaving for hk tomorrow, and then my brother is also leaving for paris tomorrow. Why, of all days, on a Saturday that i'm actually free, is everyone leaving?! But fret not, hahaha i have plans tomorrow, except that i cannot send my brother off, which is really just an excuse to go to the airport and eat Popeye's fried chicken. The best, ever. Okay wait, but the other day i went down to town and ate korean fried chicken which was really good too (and not to mention, the really cute boy working at the counter, haha he is really very cute). And then after that i ate a donut from dunkin' donuts. I felt like Homer Simpson for a minute, food-wise and donut loving-wise.
My dad has kindly informed me that a letter came through for me and guess what, it's from this government thing that gives out "good progress awards" and i'm all like, "wtf?". Haha, since when do i receive such awards because i haven't really been that outstanding lately and now the government's giving me $xxx for this "good progress award". Which, is shocking. Okay, wait, surprising actually. Haha.
It's twenty seconds till the last call You're going "hey hey hey hey hey hey"
Why do we all have to suffer under life's little pressures and why can't we just take off to wonderful places with wonderful treasures waiting to be found and wonderful tasty treats hidden in every corner.
Say Hello to Idealism 101.
Because this is what we all aim to be, right? Unless you all think that being pushed and enclosed into a small little box is enough breathing space for all your dreams and little thoughts. Truth is, each and everyone of us are just sitting, waiting, wishing (inspired by jack johnson's original song) and hoping to just be inspired enough to go do our own thing. When deep down, all we know is fear. The fear of breaking out of your roles, challenging typicality and normality.
Sure, life is too short. But how many of us are able to raise our hands and break down the stereotypes being assigned to us? To be honest, i can't. But now that i'm all grown and becoming more aware to the outside world and all that we've seen in this world so far, i'm afraid that i'm going to be boxed up in this hole for the rest of my very short life.
Okay, bullcrap, i just really need to let it all out because i think alot and i just wonder, how much time do we have to jump off a cliff into the sea in Greece? Or to eat all those tantalising morsels in every part of the world? Or to like, just do crazy things for once? Not that i haven't done crazy things but, what about crazy crazy things?
Yes, well, this is the consequence of thinking about stuff every night before i go to bed.
And tomorrow. Tomorrow i shall bake peach and apple crumble, no more strawberries though. Sigh. But peach is good right! Yum.
Anyway, i'm still not working tomorrow because that fugging guy who's my boss and who doesn't know how to be fugging organised and all is just...such a failure. Sigh, oh he's such an epic failure.
It seems almost too easy to revert back to the old comfort you always seem to go back to.
Woke up early today, only to find out that i'm not working today. Which in total equals to a really bad day (considering i've already travelled to the shop only to find out that i'm not working today) and also a really cranky and emotionless girl who has to seek comfort in, what else, food. Because time is wasted on doing wasted things like wasted trips to the fucking shop. I wanted to cry too, so badly. Long story as to why i didn't work today (the blame is on the imbecile people who are running the shop), but i'll be working on Wednesday i think. I'm losing hope in humanity and how they manage to fuck up your life somehow. Oh. Lovely. Pfffft, just fuck them all.
Am trying to find some hope in the comforts of food though. Am running out on ingredients to bake and all. And i don't want to get out of the house unless it's a necessity too.
I, really want this holiday to quickly speed past me. Not even going to bother about Christmas too, or christmas cards which i think i might just drag myself to write some and send them out, sigh. I just want to live in my own little bubble for a while till everything is settled and sorted out. Somehow, i don't know. This year's very different, the holidays doesn't seem like a time to make merry and be filled to the brim with euphoria. I'm afraid, that this will just continue to lose its sparkle as each year pass by.
Taking back what i said previously about being all happy and gay and all that. Bullcrap.
Sigh. It's harder for me to put my words across.
Okay, no more moping around.
"Counting all different ideas drifting away Past and present, they don't matter, now the future's sorted out"
